You have met someone new, the relationship feels exciting, and you have high hopes. But then little red flags start to rear their ugly heads. Your ex will continue to talk about it, or you will catch her pursuing your ex on social media. You start to wonder: Am I just a rebound? One of the easiest rebound relationship signs to identify is the false sense of romantic intensity hiding something a little more dark and sinister: being emotionally unavailable. And if you fall for someone who is still emotionally invested in their ex, they will unknowingly suck you into the emotional rebound trap without your realizing it.
We are going to take some time to talk about how to recognize the signs, protect your heart, and make the choice about what to do next, if you have gotten mixed up with someone who is not truly over their past.
1. The Ghosts of Relationships Past
Rebounds do not come with a label. The signs can sneak in without a warning sign. Perhaps they are referring to their ex a little too often. Or worse, they say things like “you are so much better than them” while still stalking their ex on social media. If your partner spends more time talking about who they were with than who they are with, it is one of the earliest signs of rebound relationship signs.
People in this space may not have any idea they are wallowing in old feelings. You may find yourself merely filling a gap, or an emotional space, an emotional placeholder and not a partner.
2. Love-bombing and confusion
Rebounds may start fast and with a bang. You become the center of their universe and they shower you with intense affection instantly. But then a pullback. Mixed signals. Emotional hot and cold. One day they talk about having a future with you, and the next day they become distant.
This tumult of confusion is a major rebound relationship indicator. More often than not, the rebounder is chasing the feeling of being wanted, not with the person standing in front of them. You are caught up in their emotional tangle while they try to use you to mend their broken heart.
3. The Emotional Availability Test
How do they respond when you talk about commitment, healing, or emotional oneness? Do they shut down? Do they change the subject? Or do they say “I’m just going with the flow”?
A person who is preoccupied with their ex has probably been avoiding speaking openly and honestly about resolving anything let alone their own healing process. Some people will hold on to a relationship as a distraction from being alone and the pain they’ll have to work through when they do finally heal from their past ex. This emotional distance is the biggest red flag for a rebound relationship even if they say they’re single and available.
Pay attention to how they deal with emotional closeness. A healthy partner will openly share intellectual intimacy over time a bit at a time. A rebounder or somebody stuck in the past, will either share too much too soon, or steer clear of deeper emotional conversation altogether.
4. Stay or Let Go?
Just because you are in a rebound relationship doesn’t mean your situation can’t grow into something real but that happens with both people being transparent about their past. Tune in to your intestine! Communication is key. Inquire them straightforwardly, how they feel approximately their past.
If their answers leave you feeling like a back-up or somebody they need instead of want, it’s ok to walk away. You deserve somebody who is emotionally ready for you and not stuck in a loop with someone else.
Moving Forward
Regroup Believe it or not, you might be able to skip the heartache, confusion, and false hopes that come with the first signs of a rebound relationship. While it may seem admirable to be the one who helps somebody heal from heartbreak, recognize you are not their healing agent or savior. Love should never come from you filling the empty space in their heart! True love comes from two people who are whole choosing to be with each other.
Open the door for love but not at the expense of your peace.
