Figuring out what it really means
When a person says that they are “not ready for a relationship,” it might look like a closed road. Is it just a matter of time or is it all about you? Here is the truth behind this phrase and why it might not be the whole story.
The phrase that causes us to panic: “Not ready for a relationship”
Everyone has heard this phrase one
That conversation could have been going on daily then exchanging each other’s playlists, confessing late-night feelings, and out of nowhere, this sentence comes out. Initially, it was not pleasant. Then, confusion appears. Everything is questioned by you.
Is the person really “not ready for a relationship,” or is it just a polite way of saying, “I am not ready for it with you?”
The point is, sometimes it might be about you. But then again… it is definitely so.
When It’s Really About Them
There are times in life when someone’s life is too messy for them to commit.
An unhealed breakup.
A flourishing career.
Mental health concerns that they are actively trying to work on.
In this case, when they say “I’m not ready for a relationship,” they may really mean it. Relationships are an exertion of energy, focus, and emotional availability. If they are unable to physically be present, how can they demonstrate their support and commitment to you?
You will see it in their actions, everyone, not just you. They are not on dating apps. They are not flirting around. They are actually in some form of self-repair state.
They deserve respect. Let them repair. But, know that:
If you put your whole life on hold while you wait for another person to be ready, it is not a very good pact.
When It’s Not Really Just About Readiness
Now comes the hard part to swallow.
Sometimes, being “not ready for a relationship” is a polite way of saying, “I don’t see us going the distance.”
It doesn’t imply that you are inadequate but it does indicate that you are not their chosen individual. And it shows in a few subtle ways:
They like to claim they are too busy, but have time for others.
They keep you around emotionally but never commit.
A month or two later, you see them “ready” for a relationship with someone new.
That was the moment when you realized that it wasn’t because you weren’t prepared for a relationship, but rather that you hadn’t been ready with the person.
It hurts. But it’s freeing. Because now you are free, and not stuck in limbo free to meet someone who won’t second guess you.
What You Deserve You deserve clarity, not confusion.
You deserve a partner who not only claims they’re prepared, but demonstrates their readiness through their actions.
You deserve someone who, when they’re interested in you, is not keeping their feelings ambiguous or uncertain. They are not ‘just’ into you, they’re going to let you know they are into you; they put in the work, they meet you halfway, they choose you with no ifs, ands, or buts!
So, if you ever hear someone say to you again “I’m just not ready for a relationship” – don’t panic. Just take a step back. Take a look at the bigger picture. Trust what someone tells you, look to their actions more than just their words. Because “not ready” can mean two different things.
Last thought
At the end of the day, wanting love is not a sin. Walking away from someone who isn’t ready to give you what you are ready to receive is not a crime. Your time, all your energy, and your heart deserves someone who is ready with you, not someone who is just ready.
