Dating in modern times is thrilling, but it has added a new obstacle to making navigating dating difficult: fake values in dating. People now realize that being on the same page ethically, holding shared beliefs, and having aligned passions are worth more than superficial qualities. Dating participants promote an idealized version of themselves in order to present themselves to you as someone who is more compatible than they actually are. This is dating greenwashing and can leave you alone, confused and emotionally exhausted.
In this blog, we will look at why dating greenwashing happens, how to identify it, and what you can do to protect your heart, while trying to not drown out faith in love altogether.
Why Do People Fake Values in Dating?
In an age of dating apps and curated Instagram profiles, authenticity goes out the window. People reckon singles today like things such as emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and sustainability to really make a mark. Therefore, they put on a facade to trick someone temporarily into having those values when, in reality, they do not.
An instance could be: They might say they love volunteering, they meditate, or they are eco conscious, but in actuality, none of these are true for them. The other person speaks about mental health consciousness but belittles your angst when you open up about it. They say they value loyalty but are constantly flirting online. This mismatch between verbal cues and action could be the number one bright red flag in today’s dating world.
Indications that Someone Is Simulating Your Values
Spotting dating greenwashing early can help you avoid disappointment. Be on the lookout for these signs:
- Lack of Follow Through: They state one thing but follow up in a different way.
- Chit-Chat: They regurgitate trendy phrases but fail to elaborate when you drill down.
- Impulsive Belief: They develop emotional intimacy before they really know you.
- Performative Beliefs: They display “ideal values” in public but are not matching that with their private life.
Responsibly keeping in mind that anyone who possesses true shared beliefs will not need to convince you they do, their value system, lifestyle and decisions will naturally align with what they profess to value.
How to Protect Yourself Against Dating Greenwashing
While you cannot guarantee that someone will fake their values, you can definitely guarantee how you go about a relationship:
- Ask Deep Questions: Going beyond superficial chat. Talk about real-life situations and how they would react.
- Observe, Don’t Assume: Look at what their actions say, not their words. Actions talk louder than words.
- Take Your Time: Hurrying into emotional matters impairs good judgment. Let the patterns form naturally on their own.
- Be Your Genuine Self: Being true to your values will also serve you to recognize when people are not genuine.
Dating should look like growth; it should not be a guessing game. Once you set your boundaries and stay grounded in that which matters to you, pretenders become easier to spot.
Final Thoughts
Dating greenwashing is increasingly prevalent in a world where dating has been curated, and dating culture often conspires against authenticity in dates. It is common to feign values in dating for the sake of compatibility, but once you start dating, the real motivations are sure to surface. Stay vigilant in your dating practices. Rather than letting the polished and curated reality present itself as truth, question your partner’s motivations and dig deeper by asking quality questions. Focus on emotional honesty rather than the curation of values.
The bottom line is that love flourishes as both partners show up authentically. Don’t stand for performances of values on a date, wait for someone who lives them.
